When Chanyeol, Sehun, and Suho need to rehearse for “Marry You” and SNSD aren’t available. (⊙ω⊙✿) ft. Chen, Kris, and Luhan
View in highres to better view the crack
Also Lauren wrote an accompanying fic, read under the cut!
“Let me get this straight,” Kris says, balancing his phone between his cheek and shoulder while placing a stack of immaculately folded dress shirts in his luggage. “You’re going to dress up in a fancyass tux and dance around with Sooyoung-ssi with Sehun and Joonmyun.”
“Hyung, isn’t it awesome?” comes Chanyeol’s voice, far too loud and excited for six in the morning. “It’s gonna be really cute!”
“It’s gonna be real awkward, that’s what it’s gonna be,” Kris mutters and zips up his cosmetics case.
“I mean, great, congratulations,” Kris says quickly and looks around his hotel room for anything he might have missed.
“We’re learning the choreography tomorrow,” Chanyeol babbles on happily. “I’ll show it to you when you’re all back from Malaysia.”
Kris murmurs his assent and hangs up, already dreading the combined stage. “They just had to pick the three most awkward members,” he mumbles to himself.
“And that’s the end!” Chanyeol exclaims, striking a terribly cheesy pose. He is cute, though Kris will never admit it. “What do you think?”
Kris sighs and scratches his head. “It’s good? Empty, I guess.”
“Well, of course,” Chanyeol says sheepishly. “It looks a lot better with Sooyoung-noona. It’s pretty fun, actually. You should try it!”
“No thank you,” Kris huffs, eyebrows furrowing. “I’d rather not embarrass myself.”
“Aww, come on hyung,” Chanyeol whines, and goddamn it he’s about to make that pouty face again. “That way you can see what it’s like with two people. It’s really fun, I promise!”
“Chanyeol, I’m not gonna—”
“Chanyeol, no is no.”
“Hyung, hyung, hyung—”
“Pretty please with a cherry on top,” Chanyeol begs, getting on his knees, and, yes, he’s making the pouty face. The ridiculous pouty face that makes Chanyeol’s eyes all wide and eager and goes straight to Kris’ heart.
Kris puts his face in his hands and heaves a very audible sigh. “Do I have to be the woman?”
“I think you’d be a very beautiful woman, hyung,” Chanyeol says solemnly.
Kris really hates his life.
The dance, surprisingly, is not that bad. It’s as awkward as he predicted and probably has the sexuality of a junior high dance, but it makes Chanyeol smile and his eyes light up, so Kris sighs and humors him.
It wouldn’t have been as bad if Lu Han and Yixing hadn’t started calling him Kristina or asking for impromptu performances when Chanyeol was around.
“Cut it out, will you?” he hisses at Yixing, who claps his hands delightedly at Chanyeol’s hip swaying. “Once you get him started he won’t stop.”
Yixing just dimples at him. “But Chanyeol-ah is right. Duizhang would make a very pretty woman.”
Kris is about to fire back a snarky comment when Chanyeol’s soft hands curl around his and promptly tugs him into the choreography. Blushing furiously, he lets Chanyeol dance him around their living room, with Yixing and Lu Han’s laughter ringing in his ears.
But Chanyeol’s smile is bright and happy in front of him, so Kris smiles softly back and figures that he can deal with it.
“No, no, no, absolutely not.”
“But hyung,” Chanyeol pleads. “You’re the only one who knows the choreography, and they want to run a rehearsal!”
“What about the backup dancers?” Kris asks desperately, regretting with every fiber of his being the day he let Chanyeol teach him this damned dance. He gets enough crap about it back in the dorms, so there is no way he is letting anyone outside of EXO watch him prance around on stage.
“It’s their day off,” Chanyeol says pointedly.
“Well, maybe they should have thought of that before scheduling a rehearsal today,” Kris grumbles. “And what good am I if Sehun or Joonmyun won’t have partners?”
Chanyeol brightens. “But they do!”
“If you honestly think—” comes Lu Han’s voice from behind him, and Kris whirls around to see the blonde smirking at him. “—that I wouldn’t make Sehun teach me this dance, you clearly don’t know me, Wu Fan.”
Kris wants to cry. “But Joonmyun?”
The sound of Jongdae’s high-pitched cackle is enough to give him nightmares for the rest of his life. Kris promptly turns around and shuts his eyes tight.
“What are you doing, hyung?”
“I’m trying to wake up. Clearly I am dreaming.”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous,” Lu Han sniffs. “Come on and change into your tights. The vans will be here to pick us up in a minute.”
And Kris’s blood suddenly runs cold. “Tights,” he says weakly.
Chanyeol scratches his head. “Did I mention that this was a dress rehearsal?”
No one is in this goddamned band is safe anymore. They are all out to kill him.
“Should I be concerned that you won’t look the least bit uncomfortable?” Kris snaps, and tugs his pantyhose down. He tries to take an unsteady step in his heels, and decides against it.
“No,” Lu Han says, and smooths his bodice. “Sehun likes it when I wear skirts, you see.”
“This isn’t even bad,” Sehun observes, raking his eyes up and down Lu Han’s skinny legs. “He’s worn shorter.”
Kris glowers at Sehun, eyeing his tuxedo enviously. The tulle is itchy. He’s going to have to do a full lotion regime tonight.
“Hyung, maybe I should wear a skirt sometime,” Jongdae says excitedly, and at least Joonmyun has the decency to look exasperated. “I think I could pull it off?”
Kris wobbles away in his too-high heels and tries very hard not to throw himself off the stage.
“Maybe,” Lu Han says skeptically. “But I still think I look best in a skirt.”
“No way,” Chanyeol bursts out, giddy and gleeful. “Kris-hyung is way sexier.”
It’s official, Kris thinks miserably. Everyone is out to get him.